Transitioning from 2021 to 2022 - Hope in the midst of hopelessness

Before I entered the new year, I spent some time with my rock of a mom 💖 She said - I have no doubts you will have your own children, but it can be before or after you adopt (if you choose to). But you should love them both the same - your own + whom you adopt. I just had nothing but admiration and love for the way my mom was handling her own daughter with such a fragile, precious decision.

Jessica's dream - 

[0:18 pm, 25/12/2021] Jessica: Merry Christmas my dear friend

[0:18 pm, 25/12/2021] Jessica: I wanted to share this with you…. I dreamt of you last night and we were all (me Lee sol you Suji and Cynthia) toasting to your last Christmas as a 2 cos next Christmas you will have a baby!!

[0:18 pm, 25/12/2021] Jessica: Just wanted to share. Love you ♥️

Lejan's encouragement - 

[4:39 pm, 27/12/2021] Lejan: Hey someone I know sensed that u must wait for one year before u decide to adopt a child. They felt that u will have a child in the next one year.

[4:39 pm, 27/12/2021] Lejan: Sensed god speaking through genesis 18:14

[4:40 pm, 27/12/2021] Lejan: So stay expectant with prayer

Diana's dream - 

29/12/2021 - It’s crazy sushi but I want to say this now only. I thought I’d say you in person but I saw a dream of you wearing that floral dress you wore for Christmas and had a nice round belly. I was holding it and posing with you. It wasn’t your baby shower but just us laughing and taking pictures. I woke up cried and slept back. It was sooooo good.

Tell me that dress is loose around your belly yes?

Part of me was unsure if that dress would fit with a belly and it was nice and round so I guess around 15 weeks or so as per what I saw in me. Now that you confirmed the dress is loose that’s all I needed to know. I don’t doubt God one bit to do what he said he would but I doubt my dream details cuz I don’t think I’m good enough for God to show me such powerful things 🙈

As we entered 2022, God opened my eyes to the portion around Aaron's staff in the book of Numbers, chapter 17. In this chapter, God tells Moses that the person to lead he entire assembly - his staff (among 12 staffs) will sprout the next day. Aaron's staff budded with leaves, flowers, and almonds! overnight! All that was needed were leaves to show on the staff, but God being God caused it to flower & bear fruit overnight! It usually takes 5 to 12 years for almonds to bud. 

What God can do overnight. What He can do in a second. 

2 Peter 3:9 For the Lord, a thousand years is like a day and a day like thousand years.

As the month of January began, I received Dr Thoraya's call, where she tells me due to COVID cases on the rise, when their services finally resume, I can have one last shot at IUI, but no more IVF. Before she ends the call, she reminds me that God can make anything happen. Anything.

The following couple of Fridays later, we attend church - in this service, Solu was leading and I had to share on tithes from the word. We had such a wonderful and joyous time of worship, where Merlyn felt led to call all the children in front, to dance and worship the King. God reminded me that on the day where both of us had to lead from front, He caused all the children to come in front and worship Him, and reminded me that this is a glimpse of my generation, and that we will not be put to shame. I passed this blessing on when I got on stage to another couple whom I felt led to bless with the same.

The following month, on the 25th of February, we had a half night of prayer at church. It was powerful to say the least. My army of fiery prayer warriors came forward to intercede for me, and literally surrounded me in a ring covering me with prayers for God to do the impossible, against medical reports and against "mere mortal" facts, as my sister says, and for a breakthrough in our journey.

I received a word the following week from Diana where she felt led to tell us - it is finished. We also got to know God moved miraculously for another friend who didn't have a cycle for 8 years! And through that He showed us that nothing is too hard for our God; on the same day, Clifton gave us a word of hope too as his brother had a baby after almost 10 years of waiting.

I soon also dream that I tell Solu that I was 2 months pregnant, but again doubts and voices rose in my head, if it was God or my desire being voiced through. But I rarely, and RARELY ever dream about myself. In all of this, my heart has pondered, God what are you doing in and through me? Through us?